Back when I was in the senior status of my high school, I never would’ve answered the “What do you wanna be?” part of the “Life Essay.” Mainly because during that time I only cared about two things: a relationship which was going into a slow but imminent self-destruction mode and a game plan in trying to avoid being tagged as the “promdi” when I successfully immerse myself in the metro/university life. Not because I’m ashamed of where I come from but because I’m not a fan how little people of the north know about us from down south.
Those considerations seemed pretty “legit” to me back in the days.
But now that I’ve severed the ties between me and my “What do you wanna be?” part of my existence and into threshold of my “Are you alright with what you are?” phase, there are three things that I’ve come into conclusion.
1. I did not become what I set out to be. Well at least not yet. Contrary to what goal-oriented people say, bumps on the road aren’t just bumps on the road. Just like what our good friends from DPWH have set up on our national roads, these speed bumps aren’t just there to piss motorists off. They’re there to make drivers slow their vehicles down. That’s what bumps do to us. They make us slow down and they allow us to think beyond our normal thinking habit. To address the goals of our inner identity. To question what we really want to become, not only with what our degree programs can do for us in the not so distant future. I’m not what my degree program says I am, at least not yet. And some of my colleagues and friends might raise an eyebrow on that, but hey, Tim Duncan actually started as a volleyball player before the NBA dubbed him as Mister Fundamentalist. I might not be in the destination I paid for but I’m pretty much okay with where I got dropped off.
2. Friends are not, and will never ever be, a poor choice of investment. They’re your lifeboats. When everything makes you feel like you’re on the losing end, friends keep you from jumping over the edge and completely turning yourself into a poor man’s Lindsay Lohan. True, they may not serve as the best inspiration. But when you see people like you struggling to keep up with the ever-changing world, it’s nice to know that no matter what type of fecal matter this place throws at you, you’re not gonna be the only one cleaning yourself up. And that’s in the least erotic sense possible.
3. I still may not be in the VIP seat, but I swear I’m on my way there. Well, I think this is pretty self-explanatory don’t you think?
Shot and edited by Bernard
Bernard’s Film Reel
Video excerpts from